(A Vintage Petrol Lighter Story Volume 7: End Of The Line is a work of fiction presented by DependableFlame.com)
Coming To Terms
Elston had been dreading this day for years. Not in the same way he dreaded work or was apprehensive about other responsibilities he’d neglected, just a glitch in his head that whispered a foreboding, melancholy song of the
unknown as he rolled the file wheel on his Cygnus lighter, igniting the joint perched between his dry lips.
The day had started familiar enough to any other and all the attendant anxieties were present but this day was different and the fact that he was sitting in the cold, hard backseat of a police car was proof that his life had changed forever. Elston didn’t get that just yet though and he was still feeling sorry for himself as the cruiser crossed Broadway Avenue on N.W. 10th and he looked south and caught a good, long glimpse at the Christmas lights that electrified Auto Alley in Oklahoma City; red, blue, green, yellow.
This was one of his favorite holiday pastimes, though in different circumstances and with his loves ones in tow of course but tonight Elston knew he was going to have to feel the pain a little bit and he was frightened. He knew he was a drunk, he’d known it for a long time but like a petulant child had ignored every warning and now it had come to this.
The doctors had warned him back in the spring that if he didn’t quit drinking he’d soon be dead and like the moron he’d been carrying on as for the last eighteen years, he didn’t listen. Oh, he told himself he did and even went through the motions of quitting back in May but he let his guard down in a moment of weakness.
That first sip of Evan Williams Black after three months of sobriety should have woken him to his reality. The elixir that had tasted so smooth and sweet back in May was now evident to his tongue as the poison that it was. The venom his body had fought so hard to be clear of now swirled corrosive on his tongue and coursed deadly through his veins.
Carrying The Weight
This was the day that Elston would have his last drink of alcohol but the day had only just begun and there were many drinks and several hard realizations on the way. Like so
many mornings over the pursuit of his alcoholic descent, the day had started with a drink upon shirking his vocational responsibilities. It would be a flurry until the last.
He wallowed in the loss of his father to such a dreadful disease just months earlier, though much of the damage had been done years before that. Elston had never learned any healthy ways to deal with pain he’d encountered in his life. Just buried it down deep, thought about it in agitated moments where it became something else entirely and hoodwinked him of the realities of the joy life could be.
Elston had managed his life in such a fashion as to set up signposts and parameters he felt would keep him safe along the way, point him in the right direction, keep him set apart from the filth in which he was mired. Yet he never failed to take advantage of an opportunity to defy his own way markers or deny promises he’d made in secret.
He remembered talking to himself in the mirror and the disparaging message left no room for hope. There were things that he’d done or at least allowed to happen that could not be taken back or shoved back into the genie’s bottle. Emotions for which he had no account though they haunted him incredulously.
He was running down the street barefoot the next thing he knew, his buddy yelling after him, uttering words Elston could not decipher though they were not unfamiliar. The swirl of booze in his brain, the cognitive dissonance apparent and laying bare the shame of his disorder. So many say it’s a disease but Elston knew better. He’d never known a disease to be triggered by a personal choice.
Conveying The Truth
Anxiety had wrought it all. Such a nebulous term to wreck such havoc on the psyche. We all do at every moment what we believe
will make us most happy. Jesus had warned against the frivolity of worrying in the gospels, saying the birds of the air neither sow nor reap but are fed by the Father and are we not more valuable than the birds? That worrying doesn’t help in any way at all.
The deceptions of Elston’s own mind had been his downfall. Giving in every time after promising this time would be different. His intentions were good but betrayed by the reality proven by is actions and deeds. Concerned so much of the time with the perception of himself by those around him rather than honesty of thought to begin with.
He had used marijuana back in the spring to help ween him off the alcohol. The doctors had warned him of the dangers of attempting to suddenly quit alcohol and the hazard that withdrawals could have on his mind and body, even killing him.
It was a breath of fresh air, however, to discover a kindred spirit in the mental ward of the hospital. One who spoke plain language and wasn’t concerned about the perceptions of others but only the health of Elston moving forward. Elston had discerned quickly who he’d have to convince he was in his right mind before he’d be allowed to leave and though to what degree Elston was unsure, he was certain that Dr. John would have something to say about the matter.
“The weed isn’t really your problem,” Dr. John confided, “but the alcohol is going to kill you.”
Elston had heard all of this before but the consequences had never coalesced so cogently in the recesses of his mind. He didn’t appreciate the prison style toilet that was now available to him. He wasn’t comfortable with the control these people currently had over his life.
Elston had many hard changes he would have to make. There was pain set out before him in every direction he looked. He was sorry for the mess he’d made of his life. He was sorry for the suffering and worry he’d caused to those he loved most. He knew right then and there that his days of drinking alcohol were over.
He also knew that if this was going to work(and it was going to work!) he would have to start being honest with himself as well as those who truly loved him.
(Please leave any comments, questions or suggestions in the comments section of this or any other page at DependableFlame.com. This is a work of fiction and any similarity of the characters or situations herein to those that have happened in real life should be seen as coincidental.)
Hello! I just finished reading your fictional piece: A Vintage Petrol Lighter Story Volume 7: End of the Line. I really enjoyed your descriptions of how alcoholism can be. Metaphorically, and literally. You use your words to the absolute best of your ability describing what alcoholism can feel like to the user of the alcohol. I have no experience in terms of knowing what alcoholism is like personally, but my family has many stories.
My grandfather on my father’s side of the family was a struggling alcoholic until the day he died. And it was in fact what killed him. He was the young age of 45 when he passed. He was a pharmacist all of his life, from the time he was 20 years old, he had been previously even groomed as a child to pursue the trade of being a pharmacist as it was the family business. He struggled to cope, having such a tremendous amount of responsibility and pressure on his head from the field of the job he had chosen.
He was never a “mean” or “violent” drunk, but he rarely as a father stepped up to spend time with his children, he avoided family interaction/ socialization as if it were the plague. He would often recoil to his bedroom or den for a drink if there were family festivities happening in other parts of his home. My father can recall almost all his own childhood memories of Christmas morning opening presents none of which had his father present watching him and his siblings open their gifts.
My father has also often told me, my grandmother, at one point grew quite tired of his behavior at home, and told him one day “It’s me you choose, or the drink, one or the other, if it’s not me you choose, pack your suitcase.” When he returned home from work that day, he had his things packed and moved out of the family home. My father’s parents quickly divorced, and stayed friends but, lived in separate homes from that point on. Alcohol certainly destroyed the family picture they once knew, sadly.
Not to mention, when my grandfather became very ill in the end, it was because of alcoholism that led him to be this sick. And ultimately what led to his slow and very painful demise and death. It’s a terrible addiction to suffer from. It’s very difficult on your loved ones, (as is any other addiction) but, this is in my opinion one of the most unpredictable ones at times.
My father has often said at a young age, his father would come home in the early morning having hobbled home from the local drinking establishment. And when my father was just getting out of bed for school his father would ask him to ride his bike down to one of the bars and find the car he had driven to the bar and parked originally before later stumbling home in a drunken stooper.
(This was in the ’70s and 80’s when children were often taught to drive a car at a young age, my father was one of these children). Mainly due to the fact he was meant to go find his father’s car at a bar and drive it back home to him before heading to school for the day. He was a good man, I do believe this much, but he suffered very much from alcoholism.
Had he not, I may have actually gotten to meet him at an age I might have remembered well enough. Instead, I met him when I was maybe 1-2 years old, there are photos of me sitting in his lap in the lake at our cottage, but I don’t remember because I was just a baby at the time. I have cousins who did get to meet him and spend good times with him and have told me he was a great person. I just wish I had gotten the chance to have those same great experiences with him.
Your depiction of how alcoholism feels to someone in their mind is excellent in this article. I’ve only ever “stumbled” with alcohol myself once and corrected it immediately after I noticed what was starting to happen. But, your words are relatable on this subject. And I enjoyed the “real-ness” of the feelings in your article.
Thank you for such a great read! Thoroughly enjoyed reading this fictional piece!
Thank you Carl for stopping by to read the story and also for taking the time to leave such a detailed and kind comment. I feel your sadness very much over the loss of time that you could have had with your grandfather had alcoholism not taken him from you so young. These are some of the motivating factors that keep me from even considering having a drink again because I don’t want my kids and grandkids to look back at me with the same sort of questions.
Most people who die of alcoholism never intended their drinking to get out of hand and become the problem that it typically causes. By God’s grace, I am free from some very similar experiences to Elston and by the power of God’s Holy Spirit in Jesus Christ I will remain free of the alcohol. I appreciate you taking the time to comment my friend.
You are an absolute fantastic author. You write in so much detail. I truly feel this could be a published book that I would personally buy. Elston sounds like he is ready to make a major change in his life. Him going to jail, in term is obviously not a good thing, but I think for him this is exactly what he needed. Continue writing. This is a very good story.
Thank you Amanda, I really appreciate the compliments! I have really been enjoying the creative process that is involved with creating and developing these serialized fiction stories that relate in various elements to cigarette lighters, cannabis legalization and some of the other issues that we deal with regularly here at DependableFlame.com. Writing a book is something I have considered in the past but creating these little vignettes seems like a much more manageable chore than coming up with an entire book at once. Thank you again for stopping by!
Elston’s story is a reminder that addiction can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, or social status. It’s essential to recognize the warning signs of addiction and seek help before it’s too late. Addiction is not a personal choice but a disease requiring medical attention.
It’s essential to seek help when dealing with addiction, as it can severely impact one’s life. Addiction is a complex issue, but it’s possible to overcome it with the proper support.
Elston should have taken responsibility for his actions and healthily dealt with the pain by living in the present and focusing on the things that bring joy and happiness to his life.
Hey Ziya, I really appreciate you sharing your insights on the subject of alcoholism as it has been experienced by Elston in the story.
I disagree with you a little bit in that I don’t believe that alcohol addiction is a disease per se, though you are correct that medical help may be necessary when a person is weening themselves from it. People die from withdrawals very day, so it is a real danger but the main issue is one of self-control or behavior which may be influenced by a person’s proclivities but not “caused” by a supposed disease.
A very enjoyable read with a lot of relatable emotions and personal battles. I think most people have some addiction, some more dangerous than others, that drive us to do the things we do or limit us from doing those things we don’t. Alcohol took my grandfather and almost my dad. It is a vice with fleeting moments of solitude but immense suffering and depression.
Hello Brian and thank you for checking out the story! I agree with you that most of us have some kind of foible that afflicts us, most may have even more than one. Alcohol is a weaver of lies that for some people has no actual benefit even though you’d be hard pressed to convince them of that. I bought into the lies for yrs and wonder some times what could have been going on in my head to make me believe it was a good idea in the first place, let alone to have ever let my life be influenced by such poison.
Going to jail must be a real wake-up call for Elston and yes the end of the line. But hopefully, this is the end of the line for his addiction to alcohol. I am looking forward to reading what happens next.
I think it takes an extremely strong person to be able to overcome an addiction such as this, as it isn’t easy. They say once you have an addiction you are never really totally free of it. I wonder how true this is?
I have heard the same notions about addiction that you describe Michel but my own experience tells me that alcohol addiction does not always have to be a cloud over a person’s head just waiting for a relapse. I believe God has shown me the danger of alcohol addiction to the point that I would be an idiot to ever return to it. I could be wrong but I don’t think so. I have no desire to have another drink and know that would be among if not the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.
I just finished reading A Vintage Petrol Lighter Story Volume 7: End Of The Line, and I absolutely
loved it!
Your story was a captivating story with an interesting plot.
Elston sounds like he is ready to make some changes in his life.
Alcohol is a major problem for many people and Elston is no different.
I agree he will definitely have to start being honest with himself if he wants to solve his problems.
I highly recommend this to anyone looking for an entertaining read that will keep them hooked until the end.
I look forward to more entertaining stories from you.
all the best Matthew
Thank you Matt for reading the story and leaving such a kind comment. I agree with you that Elston has finally had enough of the problems he has been making for himself and is ready to be honest. The Avett Brothers have a song called Tell The Truth To Yourself which has been a comfort to me over the last few years as I have made many similar changes in my life. It’s hard to be honest about our lives or with those around us if we’re not even telling ourselves the truth.
I hope you will continue to stop by and check out future intallments of these stories!